Fat Guy In a Little Coat
Fat Guy In a Little Coat
Tommy Boy, the Sopranos and more recommendations on what to read and watch this weekend.
Hey y’all. Thanks again for reading an subscribing to this newsletter. If this is your first trip here, check out my intro post, why the coronavirus is not an equalizer and why Breanna Stewart is the GOAT of college basketball.
Today, I just have recommendations on things you should watch and read this weekend, and a quick thing on a coach I covered on the Eastern Shore.
Watch
The best play from Super Bowl XL: Antwaan Randle El throwing a touchdown to Hines Ward. Somewhere in my closet, I still have the Sports Illustrated issue that has a picture of Ward smiling skipping into the endzone on the cover. Randle El was a solid NFL wideout for several years, but was a decent quarterback in college at Indiana too. In 1999, his sophomore season, he threw for 2,277 yards and 17 touchdowns with a yards per-attempt average of 8.2. He also rushed for 788 yards and 13 touchdowns that year.
A minute of Paige Bueckers’ highlights from SLAM. She’ll be playing at UConn next season and seems to be the next great player to come through Geno Auriemma’s program.
I sure do miss these Orioles. It’s also a reminder that Manny Machado’s best position is third base and Chris Davis was once not just a great hitter, but a fine defensive player too.
If you haven’t watched “Tiger King” yet, perhaps this review from Neil Morris at the Chatham News+Record can convince you.
Always watch the hilarious Pittsburgh Dad. This week, he reacts to Tom Brady going dahn to Tampa.
Thrillist put together a four-minute video on the history of the highly caffeinated blackout sauce, Four Loko. I had Four Loko once, when I was 19 (sorry, mom and dad). My buddies and I chugged cans in the car before a night out in Ocean City. It was an awful decision. I thought my chest was going to explode. Luckily, I am still here.
If it’s possible to love and hate something at the same time, I found it.
I’m watching the Sopranos again. All of which is streaming on HBO (and on Amazon Prime). An underrated episode is the season four premiere, “For All Debts Public and Private.” It’s directed by Allen Coulter with a script from the great David Chase. It’s the first episode that aired after 9/11. Money is an issue, with Junior’s trial starting and Carmela growing anxious about income if something were to ever happen to Tony. Paulie Walnuts is in the can, Ralphie starts hooking up with the insufferable Janice, Bobby Baccalieri’s family debuts, Tony watches “Rio Bravo,” Carmine gives a lesson (a Don doesn’t wear shorts) and we get a cameo from Will Arnett (which seems super weird now). Tony manipulates a drugged out and neglected Christopher, and all Chrissy has to show for after completing the task Tony gives him is a measly $20 bill and no real sense of closure. It sets up a tumultuous fourth season that has its fair share of ups and downs and also a few laughs, like this exchange:
Read
This week was the 25th anniversary of Tommy Boy. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve watched this movie with my dad and my buddies. In the eighth grade, for a school spirit day of some sort, my friend Ben and I both showed up to school wearing jackets that we couldn’t zip-up, our own versions of fat guys in little coats. Tommy Boy was Chris Farley at his absolute best. The chemistry he had with David Spade is something that few pairs of actors or comedians have replicated. There’s a brotherly vibe there, where they both annoy the hell out of each other, but they care for each other too. Farley swirls around the movie like a tornado of comedic energy. There are also a few scenes where he displays some really great acting and shows off a measure of sadness. Had he had a lengthy career like Adam Sandler, I would’ve liked to see what Farley could do in a dramatic role. I loved Chris Farley, even in his movies that weren’t big successes like Tommy Boy. If you have time, check out Beverly Hills Ninja and Almost Heroes. Like the Notorious B.I.G., Farley was another famous fat guy that I looked up to who died way too young. Anyways, the Ringer put together a Chris Farley syllabus that you should check out.
(And Roger Ebert was right about a lot of movies, but boy did he swing and miss on Tommy Boy, one of the greatest comedies of the ‘90s. He gave it one star and wrote, “No one is funny in ‘Tommy Boy.’ There are no memorable lines.” I’ve never read a statement more false. That’s like saying scrapple isn’t the greatest breakfast food on the planet. Was he asleep for “Holy Schnikes!” and the paint chips line? Did he go to the bathroom for, “If I wanted a kiss, I’d call your mother,” and the housekeeping bit?)
And if you’re into podcasts, I recommend The Rewatchables. This week’s episode is, of course, Tommy Boy.
The great Ted Shockley — who offered me my first full-time job in journalism after we ate burgers together at a Denny’s (yes, I still have the receipt) — wrote what is perhaps my favorite piece this week, a column on stress eating that is also an ode to Little Debbie Oatmeal Cream Pies. My Little Debbie’s of choice are the Boston Creme Rolls, but no one in their right mind would turn down an Oatmeal Cream Pie. If you’re feeling down this week, have one, or six. We won’t tell anyone.
Perhaps you’ve seen the “block or charge?” memes on Twitter. Ryan McGee of ESPN tells the comeback story of the man who popularized it, former Kentucky and NBA player Rex Chapman.
If you’re like me — a currently unemployed 20-something who had a Gamecube 15 years ago — then you’ve been playing a lot of Animal Crossing: New Horizons recently. The game is at its best, in my opinion, when you just play it. I know that sounds simple, but it’s easy to get caught up in making money, being a slave to Tom Nook and keeping up with the joneses. At Kotaku, Ian Walker explains how FOMO can ruin your experience with the game. Just get lost in it. Grow some fruit, catch some fish, visit your friends, move some trees around and design some cool clothes (I made a UGA hat and an Adidas hoodie).
As someone who covers the USL, I found this coaches survey that Jeff Rueter at the Athletic put together pretty interesting. My two cents on a few things: No soccer team should play in a baseball stadium, we don’t need pro-rel, I’m surprised Solomon Asante didn’t get bought by an MLS team, and Bob Lilley might be the most underrated coach in all of pro soccer in the U.S. Another note: After all of this coronavirus mess is over, I’m getting out to Memphis for a game and some BBQ.
My friends at the AJC dug into some sketchy and problematic things U.S. Senator (and part owner of the WNBA’s Atlanta Dream) Kelly Loeffler has been up to. Millions of dollars in stock were sold on her behalf while Congress was dealing with the coronavirus. “During the same time period reflected on reports filed late Tuesday, (Loeffler) also sold shares in retail stores such as Lululemon and T.J. Maxx and invested in a company that makes COVID-19 protective garments.”
(Another thing related to Loeffler: On Thursday, one of her former Atlanta Dream players, the stellar Angel McCoughtry, came to her defense on Twitter. Except, it appeared that McCoughtry didn’t really know what she was defending. In a tweeted statement, McCoughtry said she “will never judge a person on their political views.” Loeffler is a politician and she should absolutely be judged on her politics. But really, what Loeffler did has nothing to do with politics; it’s about ethics and morals. Loeffler is facing credible allegations of insider trading during a national crisis and credible allegations that she profited off a virus that’s killing people. When someone brought this up to McCoughtry, she asked for further explanation. The WNBA star then sent another tweet saying, “I am obviously not an expert on federal security laws.” Indeed. The whole episode was a reminder that sometimes, it’s just better to not tweet, especially when you’re not fully informed.)
“There were already plenty of forces bearing down on legacy media. The coronavirus and the recession that might follow have become their accelerants.” At the Ringer, Bryan Curtis wrote about the pandemic’s impact on sports journalism.
Cheers to Alan Byrd
Pocomoke High School head soccer coach Alan Byrd retired this past week. Most of you reading this might not know a whole lot about Alan — or Pocomoke — so I’ll fill you in.
When I was working at the Delmarva Daily Times as a sports reporter, the boys high school soccer season in the Bayside Conference was almost always a toss-up. It was difficult to predict who would be good, who would be awful and who might compete in the state playoffs. But there was one exception, one sure thing: that was Pocomoke. Each year, the Warriors were going to field a pretty good team and make at least a decent post-season run. Alan Byrd was the reason why. His squads always embodied his toughness and were always stout on defense. They usually had a play-maker or two on offense that could put them ahead on the scoreboard. Byrd is a no-nonsense guy, but cared deeply for his players and had a hand in moving many of them onto college.
For the folks reading this not familiar with the Eastern Shore, Pocomoke City is a small town nestled near the Virginia border. Pocomoke High School has an enrollment of about 400 students, but has been known for having dominant teams in a few sports: field hockey, boys soccer, boys basketball and girls basketball. Its soccer and field hockey pitch is immaculate — the best field in the Bayside Conference — and the gym (which should probably be named for Gail Gladding at some point) is one of the top venues on the Shore. When I think about Pocomoke, I think about sports, the coaches (mostly the trio of Byrd’s; David, Alan and their late sister Susan) and filing countless stories on deadline from the McDonalds off Route 13. Lord knows how many double quarter pounders I inhaled after 8 p.m. there.
Byrd coached at Pocomoke for 40 seasons, won eight state titles (which is the most any single boys soccer coach in the state has captured) and was named national coach of the year in 2005. He nearly won another title in 2016, but his squad took a 1-0 loss in the final to Pikesville. That was the last high school soccer game I covered for the paper.
Ricky Pollitt took the reins of the Daily Times sports department after I left in 2017, and he wrote up a story on Byrd, chronicling memories of his players. It’s worth your time.
Stay safe. Stay Inside. Y’all be good.
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“Now let’s see what happens when you’re driving with the *other guy’s* brake pads.”